Day 32 - Why Don't I Speak Up?

It’s almost midnight. D.Love suggested a quickie tonight. He’s working on his new embodied movement class and wanted to go work on it. After last night’s session I was completely open to a quickie. He was giving. His tongue felt good, but his hands were really dry and felt pokey and like his fingernails were scratchy.

I didn’t speak up. I always wonder why I do that? Why don’t I say something? It’s like I’m waiting for things to change or for him to read my mind. So I finally gave him the feedback that his fingers where pokey and dry. I needed to remind him…wet fingers on the wet parts of my vulva. And his hands have been especially dry the last few days, so some Love Butter or Coconut Oil might be nice. Or he could always use some of the Aloe Cadabra we keep by the bed.

Day 33 - He Liked the Penis Straight Up Position The Best

Once again our son just wouldn’t go to sleep. We’ve been reading these books that he is so into that he just wants us to read and read and read. D.Love was all edgy and stressed. He was in a mood, so he suggested another quickie session where I give.

I decided to help him shift his mood with a little oral fun and to also learn some things about him. I played with penis positions. I did the same two techniques with his penis on his belly, his penis held straight up, and his penis pointing down towards his feet. He liked pointed down least of all, mostly due to the fact that he has a curvature (awesome for intercourse, but not so awesome for this position). He liked the straight up position the best, so I played there for a little bit before we drifted off to sleep.

Day 34 - It Was Like D.Love Had Fire in His Saliva!

“Are you bored yet,” I asked D.Love. I wanted to know if he was finding our oral sex boring at this point in the exploration. “No, I just want you at 100%” he replied. Yes, that flu is still hanging on. That means no kissing and my energy is low, and I am still coughing and stuffy. So we haven’t really had the chance to go crazy with experimentation. I’m okay with that for now, but I would like a good run of really experimental sessions.

D.Love wanted to go down on me. He pushed my legs together and started licking up the center.  Usually this would drive me crazy, but I was all in my head working again. I started to focus on the sensation. After awhile, my thighs started itching and burning. It was D.Loves beard scratching me. So I opened my legs to avoid the scratching.  Then my butt cheeks got all itchy, then everything in my pelvic floor started itching. It was like D.Love had fire ants in his saliva. WTF? It was so bad I had to get up and wipe off. We laughed and tried to get to the bottom of it.  Had he eaten something weird?  Or drank something weird?  Was my skin just overly sensitive? The whole thing was so strange.

Day 35 - Certain Times of Month I Crave Penetration Over Clitoral Stimulation

D.Love dances on Tuesday nights. He get’s all sexy at dance and I LOVE it when he brings this sexy home to me. Sometimes being apart is the best aphrodisiac. While he was away at dance I got our son to go to sleep early, so I worked on building him a website for his dance classes that he is starting to teach! I am so proud of him, another thing to boost libido.

See, he’s been talking about doing these dance classes since I met him. And well, I was getting frustrated hearing about how much he wanted to do this, but then complaining that he didn’t have the time to make it happen. I’m the kind of person who has a dream, and well, I just go for it, regardless of what I may perceive are my limitations.  D.Love finally is doing it! And that is attractive.

When he came home from dance I showed him the site and he loved it! So much he wanted to give me an awesome orgasm. I was really, really in the mood for penetration.  I notice that during certain times of the month I crave penetration over clitoral stimulation. The sensations built and built until I had this awesome combined Clitoral and G-Spot orgasm!  YUM!  I think the emotional connection and libido boost really helped make tonight great!

Day 36 - Is 69 Out of Fashion?

Today I was on Playboy Radio with Tiffany Granath, talking about the 90 Day Challenge and my new book, Blow Each Other Away. The question came up “Is 69 out of fashion"? First of all, how can a sexual technique go out of fashion? I guess it’s possible.

I came home and asked D.Love what he thought. He admitted that he wasn’t a fan of 69. I don’t know...for me it’s nice to do a variety of things.  69 can help me to associate pleasure with giving and wire me for having mouth orgasms. However, it is nice to be able to just focus on giving or focus on receiving.

Tonight we experimented. First he was on top. I like him on top. It makes me feel less self-conscious. Then I was on top. We provided each other with feedback, making this session feel much more like a sex lab than a lovemaking session. However, after checking about the 69 experiment and D.Love sharing with me that it’s not really his cup of tea, we had some amazing intercourse.

Day 37 - It Was Definitely a Fellatio Sex Lab

D.Love took a pass last night. He’s gearing up for his first Ecstatic Dance class. I’m so proud of him it was no problem for me to say “no problem, do whatever you need!”

Tonight we did a lot of experimenting. It was definitely a fellatio sex lab. I did a comparison study. “Do you prefer x or y?” kind of thing. Long licks with movement or long licks with no movement? Deep Throat Porn start style, or subtle? I got in between his legs and played with his r-spot (root of his penis). Do you like it when I grab and squeeze while licking, or if I pull up and down?

D.Love gave me feedback. The only thing he didn’t like was the pornstar style fellatio. Most of the other techniques he did have preferences, but he still liked them all. I wish I had taken better notes, as there were some awesome new techniques I discovered during this session.

D.Love didn’t want to ejaculate, so at the end of the session I led him through the Maha Bandha. This is a yogic technique where you lock your pelvic floor muscles, diaphragm, and throat all at the same time (I teach this on my new video, Yoga For Sexual Health and Pleasure: Volume 1, Vitality Flow).  This helped to bring his erection down by moving the sexual energy all over his body. He started to have full-body kriyatic orgasms!

Day 38 - His Mind Needed to Let Go and Express, and Then he was Able to Move Into Pleasure

D.Love was super distracted tonight. His big dance class is coming up, but he went ahead and took some time out to receive oral from me. I thought that instead of fighting his distraction I’d lean into it and go with it. So as I was giving to him I started to ask him questions about his play lists, his fears etc.

I was touching him lightly as we talked, prepping him for a little oral love. He asked what it was like to give him fellatio? It was actually hard for me to describe the sensations. I like it a lot, but it was hard to describe what it feels like. He said it might be like giving Cunnilingus. I told him I didn’t think so. It’s totally different to me. With a penis you are penetrating your mouth, and potentially very deeply. I started to stimulate the roof of my mouth with the head of his penis. I have a deformed hard palate which can sometimes make this feel weird, but he got super turned on and asked me for more.

He got into a fantasy, which I have to leave as a mystery as he has asked me not to share it. The fantasy took his mind completely off of his class. At any rate, it turned into a really great session, even if we talked a lot during it. His mind needed to let go and express and then he was able to move into pleasure.

Day 39 - So He Was Stuck in Cum Limbo!

Tonight just ended strange. D.Love called it Cum Limbo. We played with lots of stillness and I took him through a pleasure wave. Just as he was about to have his ejaculation, I stopped to move him back into stillness...but something weird happened and it was like he was having an incomplete orgasm that started but just wouldn’t complete.

So he was stuck in Cum Limbo! We laughed about it, but he was a little uncomfortable for a bit. Sometimes sex is strange!

Day 40 - I Started With a Hot Breath Over His Underwear

D.Love is on no sleep for the past 4 days. He’s so exhausted. I decided to give again. I started just by kissing his belly and inner thighs. I do love this man. I don’t talk much about love in this blog because I want to give you all an idea of oral lovemaking techniques. However, D.Love and I do deeply love each other, just wanted to let you know.

Back to oral…I started with a hot breath over his underwear. D.Love really liked that. Eventually I took just the tip of his penis out of his underwear and worked down to his F-spot (Frenulum). Then the whole head of his penis. This was all light with licking and massage of his thighs. After awhile, I went in reverse until I was just blowing hot air on his underwear, kissing his thighs, and kissing his stomach.

Ended with our first kiss in over one month (due to me having the flu).  It was so sweet and simple.

Day 42 - I Had About 10 Orgasms Solo-Pleasuring

We couldn’t decide who was going to give and who was going to receive tonight. We were both feeling in need some freshening up, so I hoped in the shower. When I came into the bedroom, D.Love was snoring away. He’d fallen asleep.

I had taken ton’s of aphrodisiacs earlier in the day and I wasn’t about to let D.Love sleep through this sensitive high I was on. I woke him gently. He started to go down on me and it felt really, really good. I was super sensitive – in a good way. He came up with this new technique where he was pulling up on my mons, flicking his tongue on my clit, and then using hot breath on me. This went on for a while, and then we decided to end the session so that he could get some rest.

I thought for sure I’d drift right off to sleep, but I got all energized and stayed up until 5 AM.  I had about 10 orgasms solo-pleasuring and I didn’t feel tired at all the next day.

Day 43 - Sleeping Zombies Need Love Too!

D.Love is dealing with some really intense exhaustion. I am so grateful to him for hanging in there with our commitment. He’d been asleep already for 2 hours when I came in from juggling work and getting our son to sleep. D.Love was a zombie. Does Zombi oral sex count? I felt like I’d just walked into an episode of the Walking Dead.

Even though I’d barely slept the night before I was very energized, the complete opposite of my zombified partner. D.Love so sweetly got up and cleaned up for me. I started on him kissing him, kissing his nipples and doing a variety of techniques with my mouth on his chest. I gave him a lovely sensual massage with lost of penis play and lower body touch. Zombies need love too.

Day 44 - I Had Great Clitoral Orgasm!

D.Love goes down tonight. He gave me lots of clit licks while rolling my labia together. He combined this with G-Spot stimulation. I LOVED this! I had a great clitoral orgasm, but my clit got crazy sensitive.

D.Love decided to challenge me by continuing clitoral stimulation. I was squirming all over the place as he attempted to keep going. Eventually, I squirmed away from him as we laughed and cuddled before drifting off to sleep.

Day 45 - I Just Wasn't In the Mood to Have an Orgasm

D.Love is going down for another round. I was really struggling with staying present with him. He’s really awesome at cunnilingus and it all felt really great. I just wasn’t in the mood to have an orgasm. Yet, I felt frustrated by not having an orgasm.

Still we are committed and I am feeling really connected to him in a great way.

Day 46 - I Had Him in Ejaculatory Bliss!

I was glad when D.Love said that he wanted me to give him fellatio. Sometimes I think I like giving much more than I like receiving. However, both are great. He told me ahead of time that he wanted to have an orgasm with an ejaculation so we went for it.

By now I know his triggers his hottest hot spots, and how much he loves hand and mouth combinations. So it didn’t take much on my part to have him in ejaculatory bliss!

Day 41 - Tonight We Would Simply Spend Lots of Time Kissing Each Other

Since we hadn’t had a great make-out session in a really long time we decided that tonight we would simply spend lots of time kissing each other. We kissed and kissed. D.Love had scratchy whiskers, so a shave would have been great before we had started, but I wanted kisses from him so badly that I didn’t mind so much.

Day 47 - Warming Up With Some Nipple Sucking and Cunnilingus

Tonight I really wanted more than just oral sex so we planned on getting to some intercourse, but took our time getting there. First we started with Nipple Play. Since breastfeeding, I have not been a fan of the way D.Love stimulates my nipples. I had the mental thought that we should do a Nipple Play lab, not right at that moment, but perhaps on Day 48.

After some nipple sucking, he took his tongue down below and warmed me up with some cunnilingus.  After some great hand and mouth combos from my book, I was more than ready for full out intercourse. D.Love didn’t want to ejaculate two nights in a row, so he opted for me to have an orgasm, but for himself he decided he would withhold. I love how much control he has! It’s great for me.

Day 48 - As Women, We Often Don't Speak Up About Our Needs

YES!  I love sex labs. This is where, instead of just doing whatever comes to us, we have a specific mission. Tonight the mission was for me to share with D.Love exactly how I wanted my nipples to be touched, licked and sucked. We hadn’t taken the time to actually explore this and I was excited to share with him in a positive way...never criticizing, but sharing what I like.

It’s weird that I never spoke up to him about how much nipple stimulation had changed for me since breastfeeding. I didn’t really tell him that it hurt and was irritating. It’s a frequent thing that we women do...we don’t speak up for fear of hurting our partner’s feelings, because we don’t want to ruin the moment. Or worst of all, because we think our partner should read our minds.

This session was particularly great because together we discovered lots of things that did feel really great. Now D.Love has great information about my nipples, and in the future I will be receiving much more pleasure.

Day 49 - Cuddling, Kissing and Talking About Life

I was feeling emotional today. I just really needed to be cuddled and kissed and to talk with D.Love.  Sometimes I just need a little heart-to-heart pillow talk time, and tonight was that night.

So he went down on me for awhile and then I requested that we just kiss and cuddle and talk about life for a bit. It felt great to not have to go into orgasm or not have to go into intercourse, but just to be able to receive cunnilingus and then take a bunch of time cuddling, kissing and talking until we fell asleep.

Day 50 - Playing With Him With Extremes

D.Love was sleeping when I came into the bedroom tonight. I crawled under the covers with him and started to wake him up by taking off his clothing. He frequently sleeps with all his clothes on and sometimes even his shoes. I don’t know how he does it.

I was in a super creative mood so I started playing with him with extremes. Here’s a hard firm’s a soft grip. Here’s’s slow. I just felt so in love with him, so grateful for this journey we are creating together. I built him up slowly to a powerful orgasm with ejaculation. I did a little White Tigress Absorption Meditation. After cleaning up we cuddled, rolled over and drifted off to sleep.

Day 51 - Be Willing to Mess Up in Order to Discover Something That Really Works

D.Love and I decided to do a long cunnilingus session tonight. I didn’t really want to go into orgasm, but I did want to explore new techniques. D.Love decided to try lying on his side with me lying on my side too. That didn’t work so well. Our bodies just didn’t come together right and it was hard to find a place for his head. Then he came up with this great technique. It’s not the right name, but let’s call it the Split Claw. He put one thumb inside my vagina, with his fingers on my mons – split into a V so that he had access to my clitoris. Then he went down.

I have to commend D.Love on his creativity! It’s so great that he is willing to try new things with me and to be willing to mess up in order to discover something that really works. So I guess in essence there really are no mess-ups!

Day 52 - Giving Genital Massage With My Feet

We started out this evenings session with a whole lot of kissing. We just enjoyed and savored each other as we kissed and cuddled. That was great. Then D.Love began some awesome cunnilingus techniques. While he was going down on me my feet had access to his nether regions… so I gave him some genital massage with my feet. That was really fun and arousing for us both. From there we decided to move into intercourse.

Day 53 - Subtle Techniques vs. What We Learn From Pornography

Tonight we decided to do a fellatio session. I started with more sucking techniques, but D.Love just wasn’t very into it. He is soo, soooo, sooo much of a LICK man.

It’s crazy, we all learn from pornography as to what feels so great for a man...that men like the pumping up and down motion and the hard sucking. And so many men have no idea that what might feel better are more subtle techniques that involve the lips, the teeth, and the tongue. And that hand and mouth combos can bring them to new stages of ecstasy.

I am happy that D.Love and I are finding this out. I love that he is a LICK man!

Day 54 - Attempting to Have "The Worst Oral Sex"

Today’s events were hilarious. When I came into the room D. Love was asleep, of course. He’s been having these pains in his ribs and what looked like fang bites. So he went to the doctor. The doctor informed him that he has Shingles, which are not contagious, but are some kind of Pox virus...which in some ways are good since he has never had the Chicken Pox.

So when I came in joking that he was one big virus, he was half asleep. I asked him what he would like to do and he told me that he would prefer I go down on him, but that he might not be so fresh. He just pulls down his pants, then he gets out his iPhone and points the camera towards me like he is taking pictures. Then I start laughing. How can he just do everything wrong? So I tell him that we should actually just try to have the worst oral sex ever and do everything that we shouldn’t.

So I look at him with Zombie eyes as I start to do a technique from my book. I tell him that this technique is now going to be called The Zombie. We laugh. It turns out hilarious. Then as I am doing another technique, he yawns and takes a drink of water. I joke with him – "Oh, you should just eat a meal while you are at it!"

What is surprising is that even though we were razzing each other and joking and laughing a bunch, he still got completely aroused. That was surprising to me. Especially since we were trying to have the worst oral sex. Instead, we laughed a lot, had a lot of fun, and ended up having some pretty good oral sex. That was great!

Day 55 - Sometimes, Simple is Just as Great

Shooting all day. D. Love and I were crazy exhausted after my birthday party and celebration for my oral book, Blow Each Other Away, and new videos, Yoga for Sexual Health and Pleasure, just coming out. Watch the trailer here!

We decided just to do some simple fellatio. At this point I have learned what D.Love really likes so I can easily go into that and please him. We did about 10-15 minutes of oral pleasure and then cuddled as we difted off to sleep. Sometimes, simple is just as great as doing something really, really adventurous.

Day 56 - The White Tigress Technique

D.Love and I tried the White Tigress Technique that Amara Charles and Shayna taught us. I simply held his penis in my mouth. Totally soft. Then we breathed together. Just taking deep breaths...deep, deep breaths.

D. Love was so tired. I thought for sure that he would just fall asleep since the technique was so relaxing. Really relaxing. I just lay next to him on my side with my head on his stomach, and then rested with his penis in my mouth. Eventually he started to get more and more aroused. I think that if we weren’t both so crazy tired from a very, very long day we would have really enjoyed this technique.  It was such a nice change of pace...just being, not doing anything except for breathing and feeling the sensation of him inside my mouth. That was great.

It was also awesome to learn a new White Tigress Technique.  A big thank you to my assistant Michele for having them come teach us for my Birthday!

Day 57 - Orgasm and Then Off to Dreamland

We’re shooting this docudrama all week, so we’ve had the house full of camera crews. However, once the house was quiet and everyone asleep, D.Love and I are staying true to our mission.

I like yesterday’s White Tigress Technique so much that we started with that, just getting warmed up together. It’s such a great technique. Then we moved into full on fellatio. D.Love had a great orgasm and then we drifted off to dreamland, cuddling and kissing before we went.

Day 58 - The Kind of Lovemaking Where You Know You Won't See Someone for a While

Long shoot day and then I had a show with Dr. Susan Block teaching oral sex lessons to adult film stars. It’s always a crazy circus there. What was interesting is that the men were all having trouble getting hard, and for an adult star this is the end of the world for them. Instead of taking my advice of slowing down, feeling their bodies, using their breath etc...they left the stage to try to go get an erection. They completely missed the point that erection doesn’t matter when it comes to oral sex, and sometimes it feels even better if you aren’t fully erect.

D.Love appeared on the show with me since we were talking about the 90 Days of Oral Sex Challenge. We didn’t get home until 1:00 AM, and we still had our oral playtime to do! I’m leaving tomorrow for a 10 Day trip to New York City. I’ll be doing media there and teaching the Super Sex Make-Over with Sheri Winston. So we had to be sure to get our 58th day in! Fortunately, even though I’d just had a 15+ hour day we were still energized and eager to connect since I was leaving. We had some great oral and then moved into intercourse.

The lovemaking was great. It was that kind of lovemaking where you know you won’t see someone for awhile and your bodies tell each other how much you will miss this connection. I will miss D.Love and his tongue greatly!

Day 59 - Yummy Reuniting Kisses and Oral Love

I’ve been away in NYC for way too long. It was a whirlwind of a trip...teaching workshops, meeting with publishers, doing major media, etc. I did manage to see a very sexy play called Sleep No More – highly recommended. At any rate my flight didn’t get in until well after midnight and I thought I’d be way to exhausted to pick up our 90 Day Challenge.

However, seeing D.Love was awesome, and since he was willing for some late night/early morning love, I dove in with him. We had lots of yummy reuniting kisses...that led to some yummy oral where we both gave and received. This led to awesome intercourse.

The whole experience was very filled with passion.
It is so good to be home!