Day 60 - Slipped Away For Some Mid-Evening Play

It’s good to have people around you, supporting you on your mission. It just so happened that our son was out of the house with a sitter and my assistant wanted to make us dinner, so we slipped away for some mid-evening play. I wanted to give. We talked a little logistics to get those out of the way and off of D.Love’s mind, and then we got to the fun stuff. I am so glad to be connecting physically again.

Day 61 - An Awesome O That Included Female Ejaculation

Tonight was a late night cunnilingus session. D.Love did a hand and mouth combo where he used his fingers on my G-Spot and A-spot, while using his tongue on my clitoris. This seems to be the go-to winning combination for when I want to have an orgasm. He worked me up into an awesome O that included Female Ejaculation. I purred as he cuddled up next to me, and we drifted off to sleep together.

Day 62 - A Great Genital Massage That Got Him Exactly Where He Wanted To Go

Coming off of my Super Sex Make-Over Retreat where I teach a class all about how sexy bones can be, I decided to treat D.Love to some fellatio combined with boney holds. He told me that he didn’t want to ejaculate but just wanted a relaxing time.

I placed my hands on his hip bones, while I used my mouth on him. Then one hand on his sacrum and the other on his pubic bone. Holding the bones helps to down-regulate the nervous system, so he was getting super relaxed. The more relaxed he became the more aroused he became.

He changed his mind about wanting to ejaculate. I put my hands to work and gave him a great genital massage that got him exactly where he wanted to go!

Day 63 - Tonight was a Short Fellatio Session

Tonight was a short Fellatio Session. I experiemented with putting his penis in a different position – against his leg while I licked and sucked and circled on his H-Spot (his head).

After awhile, I just started kissing him. We cuddled a bunch and then drifted off to sleep.

Day 64 - Playing With Using Psychological Dominance

D.Love and I have been filming a TV segment for a major network. We got to do an extra day of filming to wrap up the segment today. They wanted lots of romantic mushy stuff of us kissing. So we took a hike into the woods for a little make-out session. They wanted lots of footage, so we just kept kissing and kissing and kissing for the camera. I love kissing him and I’m a bit of an exhibitionist so this was really fun. I whispered to him that we could count this as part of our 90 Day Challenge.

But that wasn’t the end of our fun. See my next book is going to be all about power play and BDSM, so for research D.Love and I went to see a Dominatrix who could teach us a few things to broaden our knowledge in the realm.

D. Love is really at home in this kind of play, so even though we had cameras following us around, he was feeling very frisky. I on the other hand was feeling super vulnerable. It’s not everyday that you let cameras film you being dominated!

I felt like I needed nurturing when we got there. She did give us some homework for our oral challenge, but instead we just kissed and had some really awesome sex where D.Love played with using psychological dominance (we didn’t use any toys, just words and suggestions).

I have to admit that it was REALLY hot sex!

Day 65 - I Finally Let Go, After a Long Build, Into Climax

Today we did a very long Cunnilingus session. It started out in our guest room, but I couldn’t focus because of the way the energy of the room felt. So we moved into our bedroom. Both rooms were too cold. It’s hard for me to relax or get aroused when I am too cold. (Words of advice – warm up your play space before you begin and set to the temperature of the receiver.)

I needed a lot of blankets wrapped around me to get warm enough. D.Love was very generous with his time and his energy. I was fearing I was taking too long to get to orgasm, and that his tongue had to be wearing out. But he kept going and going.

It felt really good, overall. However, I think I’ve been solo-pleasuring too frequently and just having way too many orgasms. I couldn’t get to orgasm...nor did I really feel that I needed to. D.Love, however, was determined. So I used my tools: breath, sound, pelvic floor movement, etc. I have to practice what I teach right?

D.Love used a new technique. He was using very shallow penetration with upward pressure combined with firm flicks to my clitoris. That felt really awesome. And combined with my tools, I finally let go, after a long build, into climax!

Day 66 - They Don't Call Me a Sex Expert For Nothing!

Tonight I returned the favor from last night. D.Love was being funny and requested “head nookie". I love a sense of humor in the bedroom! I gave him a little massage warm-up to help him relax from a long stressful day. Then I moved into licking and sucking. D.Love requested a few options (I love that he is starting to request things that he wants): trying bondage or combining fellatio with anal stimulation.

I made the choice of doing the anal stimulation since bondage usually involves cuffs or rope and that seemed a bit complicated for our late-night romp. I gave him some anal massage combined with fellatio and he LOVED it!

I love that I am with such and open partner. After his orgasmic experience, I was wanting a little feedback he exclaimed “They don’t call you a Sex Expert for nothing!”

Day 67 - Ahhh....Morning Sex!

This morning we did some kissing, cuddling and awesome cunnilingus - which led to some really super yummy intercourse.

I highly recommend morning sex, afternoon sex, before dinner sex – all because they aren’t at the end of the day when you are exhausted!

Day 68 - Extended State of Expanded Pleasure

Keeping with the morning theme - I gave this morning. I decided to "Pleasure Wave" D.Love.

I talk about this in my book, Blow Each Other Away, and I really think it is an effective way to keep someone in an extended state of expanded pleasure.

After waving him, I checked in with him about how things are going with the challenge. “It’s rekindled my sexual appetite,” he said.

Ah, yes! I love this!

Day 69 - Honoring Women With PGAD

In honor of day 69 I thought we could do a little 69, but D.Love wanted to give to me. Physically his giving felt awesome, but I’ve been extra stressed lately thinking about my clients and letters from people who really need help. I couldn’t get out of my head thinking specifically about a women suffering from Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, who was angry at me in regards to my appearance on the Joy Behar Show.

PGAD is a very serious disorder for which women have even committed suicide because of the negative side effects that they experience. I never meant to make light of it on TV. Because I am more frequently helping women to have orgasm, I chose to simply change the subject. I can see how it might have come off in a negative light. I kept thinking about what it must be like to have PGAD and how oral sex might be completely off the table due to overstimulation.

It took me a while, but I finally got out of my head enough to feel what was happening in my body. I started crying after the session, as D.Love placed his hand on my heart and said “You are a loving, caring person...concerned about other people and diversity, and deeply committed to helping people overcome sexual shame. It’s admirable. I know it is not your intention to hurt anyone. You’ve just been misunderstood and misinterpreted.” Sex combined with loving words from D.Love – the perfect remedy for feeling better.

Note:  Everything is Kosher with the women who was angry. She now understands I meant no harm and am an ally to anyone with PGAD.

Day 70 - Fun With The Accommodator!

WOW! Today was Day 70 of my Oral Sex Challenge and my goodness,was it an awesome experience!  What made Day 70 so great? THE ACCOMMODATOR!

I was super excited to try out The Accommodator.  I know it sounds a little intimidating, but let me reassure you that this natural latex rubber sexual enhancement product is a friend! I took The Accommodator out of the box, picked out one of my favorite water-based lubricants called Hydra by Intimate Organics, and set everything up before D.Love even came down to the bedroom. When he saw The Accommodator he started laughing. He said he was going to feel silly wearing it.

See, The Accommodator has straps (one that goes around your neck and one that goes around your head) that affix a phallic shape to your chin. While you are going down you can also be penetrating your partner. I loved the idea. D.Love was a little hesitant, but willing to dive in.

“Let me warm you up first,” he said. He kissed me. He kissed my nipples. He played with his mouth and tongue on my body, teasing me. The anticipation was so wonderful and it really turned me on. I'd been waiting weeks to try this. I especially loved having my legs closed together as he licked. He did a number of hand and mouth techniques from my book, but lingered on my favorite, called D.Love’s Delight.

Then we lubed up The Accommodator and he strapped it on. He laughed a bit, but went for it because he loves me. He used a very, very slow insertion technique, teasing m a bunch. He did teasing licks as he got closer, but then pulled out a little to make me squirm. When he got full penetration he licked rapidly, with his tongue placed on his bottom lip while moving his jaw up and down. That felt awesome.

He alternated between in and out with licks and up and down with flicks. After a few vaginal O's, which I don’t think I’ve ever had during oral sex, there was a long slow build to a powerful clitoral orgasm that lasted a long time and moved throughout my whole body. Okay, I’m in love with The Accommodator. D.Love still felt a little silly. However, he said that it was totally worth it since my pleasure was so great!


•  Women who love the feeling of being full
•  Women who have fantasized about received both intercourse and oral at the same time
•  When your lover has ED, or another reason why he may not be able to have intercourse
•  When your lover can't use their hands (or their fingers get stiff or tired) but you love hand and mouth combinations
•  Women Who Love Women
•  Fantasy Role Play - Threesomes, etc.


•  The Accommodator can bend a little causing the user to hyper-extend their neck. So I recommend, for comfort of the giver, that you use a position where the receiver is lying at the edge of the bed with the giver kneeling on a pillow on the floor. Essentially, you want the receiver placed up a little bit higher and not FLAT on the bed.
•  Don't be afraid to readjust if you need to in order to get the positioning of The Accommodator to be just right for your bodies and how they come together.
•  If you have a latex allergy, use a lambskin or vinyl condom over the product
•  Make sure that you do plenty of warming up before doing any penetration. Believe me, it will feel so much better with lots of warm-up.

I invite you to join me with a Sex Challenge!
It could be a week straight of oral sex.
Or what about trying 10 days of play with different sex toys?

What do you think?
Is The Accommodator something you and your partner would be willing to try?
Have you tied it already?
If so, let me know what you experienced!

Day 71 - Skip the Porn. I'll Take Self-Help Videos!

Tonight we did a Kissing Lab. We spent tons and tons of time cuddling with slow languishing kisses.

We had just watched a bunch of videos by Tim Ferris (author of The 4-Hour Chef). There is something so arousing to me about motivational speakers. You would think I was watching porn. I think it’s the spark of life in these guys. I had the biggest crush on Brendon Burchard. So I get all turned on watching these guys go on about living the best life ever! Skip the porn. I’ll take self-help videos!

Back to the kissing...we laid in bed and just kissed and kissed and kissed until we decided to fall asleep.  Yum!

Day 72 - Tonight We Did a Sex Lab on My Clitoris

I love sex labs. Not only do they help us learn more about each other, they are very pleasurable for me.  Perhaps it’s the sex geek in me!

I wanted to do some Tantric Breathing while he went down on me. He did some really specific clitoral techniques while I did Moola Bandha and transmuted the sexual energy throughout my entire body. If you aren’t familiar with Moola Bandha, it is a yogic practice where you focus high in your vagina near your cervix and then try to contract those specific muscles. You can inhale as you contract and then exhale and relax your muscles.

There are many benefits to Moola Bandha which, I speak about in my new DVD series on Yoga For Sexual Health and Vitality. I am in love with this practice as it heightens my pleasure and D.Loves pleasure as I squeeze around him!

Day 73 - Hand and Mouth Combinations Aren't Just For Genitals!

“That was awesome!” Those were D.Love’s first words after I completed his session.

He had requested back, shoulder and neck kissing and massage. Hand and mouth combinations aren’t just for genitals! I gave him long licks up his spine, nibbles and bites (D.Love requested I take bigger mouthfuls of skin as I bit), massaged my breasts on his back, stroked my hair on his body, blew my breath on him after licking him (this is great because it almost tingles and feels super cold).

“All great!” D.Love said. He was having Kriyas (energetic orgasms) the whole time. You would think I’d just gone down on his nether regions with this awesome feedback.

Day 74 - Power Play and Kink. Blindfolds and Headphones

I am gearing up for a new research project related to my next book on Power Play and Kink. So I thought I’d get a little head start.

My friend Destin Gerek told me about a dominatrix named Isabella Valentine who uses her voice to get her subjects into submission. It’s a form of erotic hypnosis. I bought a couple of her audios, set up my computer, headphones and a blindfold.

I blindfolded D.Love, then laid him down on the bed with the headphones on. I had only listened to a small section of the audio, so I hoped it was good.

I started to touch him lightly and give him some fabulous fellatio while he listened to the submission audio.

It was a creative session, which I really liked. I asked for his feedback afterwards. There were parts of the audio he really liked, and other’s that were so-so for him. He wanted it to build to climax more, but it just kind of left him in the hypnotic state. I’ll have to listen to the whole thing next time.

Day 75 - Nothin' Like Shower Luvin'


We showered together to get ready and then I gave him some great fellatio which led to intercourse, and then I went back to fellatio until he had an orgasm.

It was awesome to have sex before we went out on our date. We were smiling and giddy the whole date, and I am feeling so connected to D.Love as we near the end of this 90 Day Challenge.

Day 76 - Enhanced Pleasure With The Liberator Heart Wedge

Last night we took one of our passes, but tonight we came in strong with a creative cunnilingus session.

I loved The Accommodator so much that I asked D.Love to use it again. He’s not as big of a fan as I am, but there is something about being penetrated while he is going down on me that feels especially amazing. To make it more comfortable for him to give, we used The Heart Wedge by Liberator. That seemed to help with the neck pressure he was experiencing as a result of using The Accommodator.

I had a great orgasm and happily rolled over to a blissful sleep.

Day 77 - Sex Can Help With Headaches

I was experiencing a sore throat and a headache. Most people do the opposite thing when they have a headache and they opt not to have sex. I know better. Sex can help with headaches.

I’ve been doing a ton of detoxing lately and am sure that these symptoms are related to a bunch of toxins that have been getting stirred up in my system. At any rate, D.Love went down on me. He did a bunch of work on my clitoris and then went into working my G-Spot in concert. I started to ejaculate and it felt awesome!

I was thinking a lot, however. Having difficulty keeping my head in the game after I ejaculated. D.Love was smart and he started some great pillow talk with me. It was wonderful connecting.

Day 78 - I Started Having These Great Rolling Clitoral Orgasms

Today was a super long 15-hour work day for me. I was so beat. However, I was totally jazzed and excited about connecting with D.Love.

We did a cunnilingus session where he used the Script for Men that I have designed (asking higher/lower, faster/slower, deeper/lighter). I started having these great rolling clitoral orgasms.

I didn’t get too sensitive and could keep going and going. That was wonderful!

Day 79 - Massaging His Thumbs On My Outer Labia

D.Love spent a lot of time kissing my entire body. It was very relaxing. He continued the relaxation by giving me cunnilingus in combination with massage.

He did this great technique where he was going down on me while massaging his thumbs on my outer labia. I was tired, and it was so relaxing that it was moving in and out of sleep, which was fine for both of us.

He knew I was exhausted and not feeling 100% and our intention really was just to put me into a blissful sleep. It worked!

Day 80 - Super Hot Mutual Self-Pleasure Mixed With Oral Sex

I am beginning research for my new book, and D.Love and I have already chosen our next challenge.  We’re going to do 40 Days of Domination. I will dominate him for 40 days and then we will switch and he will dominate me for 40 days. It’s going to be very fun and very challenging. The 90 Days of Oral Challenge will overlap for a few days with the 40 Day Challenge!

We started talking about a very particular fantasy that D.Love has. I have been researching how to play with fantasy without actually doing the fantasy, but instead playing with your partner’s mind (with consent of course) so that they think the fantasy is coming true.

D.Love was super turned on just by the conversation. It’s one thing I am discovering about him – he’s wired Kinky!

D.Love went down on me. I decided to experiment with touching my own clitoris while he is going down on me. I quickly have a powerful orgasm and decide that it is time to do a little erotic talk with D.Love while I give to him and he touches himself at the same time. It was super hot mutual self-pleasure mixed with oral sex, all fueled with super hot talk about our new project!

Day 81 - Turning On Your Partner's Mind

I’m so excited about the 40 Days of Domination project that it’s all I want to work on and talk about!

D.Love was going down on me but I couldn’t stop talking to him about how we are going to set up our new project. Just talking about it is getting us so hot. I can already tell it’s going be incredible.

The mind is an incredibly powerful tool to heat up your sex life. I believe that we spend way too much time trying to learn some technique that will get him or her wild, when instead what we really need to do is to learn how to turn on our partner’s mind.

Don’t get me wrong. I love great technique, too. But when you have the combination, it can send things to a whole other erotic planet. And that’s were we are starting to go!

Day 82 - G-Spot, C-Spot Combo: A Great Build-up to a Very Powerful Orgasm

Last night we used a pass. We each had projects we wanted to work on. But today we took some time out mid-day to do a long cunnilingus session.

There were people in the house though, and I could hear them upstairs. As much as I am an exhibitionist on camera, I am often concerned about someone walking in on us in real life. The anxiety of getting caught turns me off. Whereas with other people the idea of getting caught could be a huge turn on, it’s just not the case for me.

But D.Love got me all shaky with a G-Spot, C-Spot combo and a great build up to a very powerful orgasm!

Day 83 - A Warmth Spread All Throughout My Nether Regions

D.Love was asleep when I came in tonight. He’d been away on a camping trip for the weekend with our son, so I was anxious to connect with him. I also had been working all weekend on my new book, which meant that I had been uncovering more fully my own Erotically Empowered Self. She was ready to play. I woke him up gently.

I was given this new oil by the owner of Jaya Wellness which he calls Yoni Oil. The oil is an Ayurvedic blend that has arousal boosting herbs infused into it. I have been very excited to try it out, so tonight I slathered some on before D.Love went down on me. D.Love said it tasted really great.

I felt a warmth spread all throughout my nether regions, and lubricated very, very well. D.Love did flicks to my clit and gave me a Clit Quickie! Then we cuddled and drifted off to sleep together.

Day 84 - I Put The Collar on His Neck As He Worshiped My Genitals

In prep for our next project (40 Days of Dom), I planned out a Domination session for D.Love.

I was watching an instructional video called Secrets of Submission by Mistress Ivy Young. In it she had a game where you put your subject in a collar and then leash him. He has to worship a part of your body while keeping the leash taught.

I, of course, played this game with D.Love tonight. Placing the collar around his neck, I then explained the rules of the game and had him worship my genitals. As I released the chain, he had to back off to keep it taught. It was super fun and super arousing for us both.

Day 85 - A Condom, A Vibrating Prostate Massager, and Domination

I wanted to try something new, which was to give D.Love fellatio with a condom on. We don’t use protection with each other since we have been together for over 6 years now and we know each other’s statuses intimately. However, it never hurts to try these things.

For some reason for me, condoms are a turn on because I don’t use them with him, so it plays into a fantasy element that he could be another man. Since we are starting our 40 Days Project, I did a little light bondage on him, practicing the hog tie I had learned from Mistress Ivy Young. I went down on him while giving him an anal massage and playing with a new toy by Jopen called The Ego. It’s a prostate massager that vibrates!

We did some fantasy role-play and erotic talk combined with sensory play. I undid his ties because I wanted to have intercourse so we moved into this while The Ego was still inside him. This was awesome because it felt like his whole penis was vibrating!

Since I was dominating him I decided to play with controlling his orgasm. Not allowing it and then counting down, and if he didn’t ejaculate within that time frame he wasn’t allowed to ejaculate at all!

Success! He was able to orgasm and ejaculate on demand!

WOW! I think that this was one of the hottest days we’ve done!

Day 86 - Not Allowed to Have an Orgasm. Because I Said So!

D.Love’s assignment tonight was to memorize my rules. He couldn’t remember all of them so I had to come up with an appropriate punishment for him. I decided to use a rope tie that Mistress Ivy Young had taught to me during the one day intensive that I did with her as a Dominatrix. Whew! Our sex life has gotten super spicy this week!

This particular tie is much like a penis restraint, so it was perfect for torturing him with a little fellatio. And he wasn’t allowed to have an orgasm...because I said so! We do have to do the last few days of our oral challenge after all!

It is amazing to me how much D.Love is wired for this and how much I am learning about him and his pleasure through this process. I highly, highly recommend these challenges and I’m very glad that I practice what I preach!

Day 87 - Fun With the Orgasm on Demand Game!

We are now on day four of our 40 Days of Domination project and it is definitely taking our love life to a completely new level! I am watching D.Love blossom. He is having all kinds of psychological insights.

Tonight we had a public outing. As a reward for good service to me, I took D.Love out to properly attire him. When in public with me, he is to wear what I would like him to wear. So I took him to one of our favorite clothing stores. I called the store early to let them know I was coming and to make sure that the main designer would be there. I let him in on the game we were playing and he was thrilled to play along. It was so much FUN!

After he was properly attired, we went to eat at a restaurant, which was where we went on one of our first dates. However, I had placed a remote control vibrator in his pants. All through dinner I played with him. I was giddy. We both felt like we were on top of the world!

I have rented a little office near the beach for us to play at and for book writing. We walked from the restaurant to my office and then the fun really began. I knew that we still had to get our oral challenge in, which seems easy now compared to setting up these elaborate domination scenes with D.Love. I went down on him and later had him go down on me, but it felt so much less dominant in this moment, so I went back to going down on him. We played for a while in this energy before I finally counted down to his orgasm. I’m having lots of fun with the orgasm on demand game!

Day 88 - I Rewarded Him With Some Great Fellatio

I’m exhausted after last night. Emotionally I feel great and D.Love is simply glowing! However, it is a lot of energy coming up with these scenes every single night. While I would recommend that couples do 90 Days of Oral Sex...I don’t recommend 40 Days of Domination all in a row! It’s was too much...and if I wasn’t writing a new book on the topic, I would more than likely change the rules to something a little less energy consuming!

D.Love was to go to the hardware store and pick up some 3ft pieces of bamboo in varying thicknesses.  He did his task well. I played with them a little bit on his butt. I was gentle since we are just starting out and Caning is a "yellow" for me (meaning I don’t know if I am all that into it, especially on the receiving end).

He did well, so I rewarded him with some great fellatio. More than anything I am having so much fun! Although I am exhausted, I get super charged once we start the session/scene, and time disappears. After the scene, we crawl into bed and D.Love gives me feedback. He said I could go so much further with the canes. I was surprised since he had told me he wasn’t really into pain, and most of the pain stuff he had marked as a "yellow" as well.  Surprise, surprise!

Day 89 - Some Oral Love and Lots and Lots of Kissing

This morning, all scenes and domination aside, we had some of the best sex ever! It was awesome. All that Domination and the culmination of these 90 Days have us feeling really connected. It was sweet and loving, but also super hot!

Even though we have one more day to go it just felt like we were celebrating. Through this process we have grown very close. And this last week felt like when we first started dating each other. It’s been like we are falling in love all over again, and the sex has become so passionate it’s mind-blowing.

Of course our morning session included some oral love on each other and lots and lots of kissing. I’m taking the day off as his Dom. I don’t want to burn out. And we did give ourselves 10 days off of our choosing.

I was very happy, however, to have this morning connection with him. We both agreed it was some of the best sex we’d ever had.

Day 90 - WE DID IT! We Successfully Had 90 Days of Oral Sex! WOW!

With the 40 Day Challenge happening and both of our excitement surrounding it, it almost feels like we aren’t fully celebrating our victory. We’ve been talking so much about kink and kinky wiring, both the psychology and the techniques, that we haven’t really felt into this victory.

And tonight it went by with a little mutual oral in the middle of a hot scene. I reminded D.Love that we successfully completed our challenge and that we have much reason to celebrate.

This 90 Day process has had many benefits:

  • We are closer together than ever (I am actually spilling over with love and admiration for him)
  • We both lost weight during this time (Sure there are other contributing factors, but I do think that all the sex had something to do with it)
  • We both feel sexier (All those yummy sex hormones from orgasms combined with the weight loss have me feeling like Super Sex Goddess)
  • We both know so much more about each other’s bodies and pleasure triggers (Sex Labs and Experimental Sessions have contributed to us knowing so much more about each other’s pleasure and bodies)
  • We both had a whole lot of fun during the process (My cold and exhaustion aside, we had the best time connecting and pleasuring each other)
  • We both felt that we succeeded on a commitment to our relationship and our sex lives (This was super important and I had been challenged in the past with D.Love not following through, so it was awesome that he was so committed).
  • I’m excited because my sexual and professional needs are met and that helps me feel loved
  • I got proof for myself that these crazy challenges I come up with are helpful to our relationship and sex life.

I was surprised and pleased when a few weeks before the challenge was ending, D.Love said that he wanted to do another one to keep things going. That’s when we came up with the idea of the 40 Days of Domination project.

I’ll do a video with him soon so that you can get a first hand account of how this experience was for him.

What’s next for us? Well, after I dominate him for 40 Days, the tables will be turned and he will get a chance to dominate me. I’m greatly looking forward to it!

And for you?  I challenge you to at least 7 days of oral sex with your lover. And if you don’t have a lover, do 7 Days of Solo-Pleasure (I once did 101 Days of Pleasure and discovered all kinds of amazing things about myself).

You are invited to into this contest! Make comments on this blog about what you did, what you experienced and what results you saw as a product of doing a Sex Life Challenge!

Refer to when D.Love and I started this process for more information on how you can get started with your partner, even if they are resistant.

And if you want more information about the 40 Days of Dom project, well, you will have to wait for the book! (to be released summer of 2014)