Welcome to the 90 Day Oral Challenge!

As a Sexual Educator, I am very committed to always "walking my talk". Therefore, in honor of my newest book release, Blow Each Other Away, I decided to enroll my partner, D.love, into a 90 Day Oral Sex Project! (See video below where I share more about WHY I did this, and HOW I enrolled D.Love to participate.)

What an AMAZING experience it was for my partner and I to give and/or receive oral sex for 90 consecutive days! (Well, we did take a few days off in there). It has had such an incredible impact on our connection and commitment to one another!

Throughout our 90 Day Challenge, I wrote a brief synopsis of our activities for that day. I hope that these give you lots of inspiration for things that you would like to try with your lover.

I admit I feel a little bit vulnerable putting it all out there for you, but I do believe in "teaching from the table", which means that I teach from my own personal, embodied experiences. My 101 Days of Pleasure Project didn't feel this vulnerable. I am witnessing the differences in that my shame about oral sex ran much deeper than my shame about solo pleasure.

I invite you to browse through some of my journal entries about our experience. D.Love and I encourage you to share your own stories, challenges and questions.

AND....In August, we will be choosing one person to WIN A FREE PHONE/SKYPE SESSION WITH ME! We will also randomly choose 5 other people to win a choice of one free book or DVD from my store.

Now...for you....I challenge you to at least 7 Days of Oral Sex with your lover. (You may get my new book, Blow Each Other Away, for ideas and inspiration) And if you don't have a lover, do 7 Days of Solo-Pleasure. (I once did 101 Days and discovered all kinds of amazing things about myself!) I also highly recommend you try my personal favorite, and organic, lube...Aloe Cadabra. We LOVE the PiƱa Colada flavor!

So, again....we invite you to share with us what you did*, what you experienced, what some of your challenges or breakthroughs were, and what results you saw as a result of experiencing your own Oral Sex Challenge!

*Note: We will be screening each of the stories/comments and reserve the right to not publish some that we feel are too inappropriate or explicit in nature.

How To Enroll Your Partner in The 90 Day Oral Challenge

My partner D.Love is on board for the 90 Days of Oral Challenge. YAY! Take a look at the video below to see our negotiation...and WHY I chose to do the 90 Day Oral Challenge.



We agreed to the following:
  • 90 Days of Oral Sex with 10 days free in case of sickness or scheduling issues.
  • There must be at least 5 minutes of present, focused oral play. This includes passionate kissing, body kissing, or hand and mouth combinations.
  • "Quickies" are okay and I need to remind D.Love that I am okay with them.
  • We will remember that we are winning by marking the days down on a calendar and feeling into each day that we accomplish connecting.
  • I will keep my perfectionist in check and will not focus on failure.
  • These are our guidelines for the next 90 days. I am very excited. D.Love seems excited, too. We are currently on Day 4 of the challenge and are really enjoying it. D.Love seems very proud of himself. He's been reading my book, too, which makes me smile. I walk into the bedroom and there he is flipping through the book for inspiration.

Throughout our 90 Day Challenge, I will be writing a brief synopsis of our activities for that day. I hope that these give you lots of inspiration for things that you would like to try with your lover. I admit I feel a little bit vulnerable putting it all out there for you, but I do believe in "teaching from the table", which means that I teach from my own personal embodied experiences.

My 101 Days of Pleasure Project didn't feel this vulnerable. I am witnessing the differences, in that shame about oral sex ran much deeper than my shame out solo pleasure. Ah well...it's on...and over the next 90 days I'll be sharing it with you!

D.Love and I encourage you to share your own stories, challenges and questions. As an incentive, all those who comment on our blog posts will be entered into a drawing to win a free 2-hour Skype call with me! (Please click here to see full rules and qualifications).

We hope you will enjoy this challenge as much as we have been!

Day 1 - The More Pleasure I Feel, The More He Feels

I received. D.Love really gets into my pleasure. The more pleasure I feel, the more he feels. What I love about oral sex is that you can just get right into it, unlike intercourse, which doesn't feel good if there hasn't been some kind of warm-up.

D.Love started by kissing me, then went below for some flicks on my clit with his tongue, and then some awesome hand and mouth action (D.Love's Delight). After I had an awesome orgasm, we kissed and cuddled some more.

Day 2 - It Was My Turn To Give

We started out kissing and then I went to flicking my tongue over his Frenulum and the area where he has a little foreskin (Fun with his Frenulum!).

After that I went into some hand and mouth combinations, like Deep Illusions and Taste of Shiatsu.

He had a shaking O. Love when that happens!

Day 3 - The "End of The Bed For Her" Position

D.Love and I were home alone in the afternoon (a rare occurrence). He was in bed flipping through my book, Blow Each Other Away, and wanted to try the End of The Bed For Her position. I am always glad to receive or give, but am feeling really excited about his eagerness to try new things. So we did just that.

He kneeled on some pillows at the end of the bed and had fun pleasuring me. I noticed myself feeling a little self-conscious, like my orgasm was taking too long. He reassured me that he would take care of himself and I need not worry about him. He kept his jeans on, which I thought was super hot.

Day 4 - This Time the Oral was 69 Position

Early morning. No one was up yet so we took advantage of the moment. The sun was rising and it was perfect to wake up to some kissing and petting. But my mind was racing about all that needed to be done. Sometimes it takes some more intense stimulation or breathing to get me in my body and out of my head.

D.Love always knows when I am in my head. This time the oral was 69 position, just for a little while before we dove into intercourse. I was glad for the intercourse, but noticed that I've really been enjoying just having oral lovemaking. It makes me wonder what it would have been like just to limit our challenge to only oral sex. Don't get me wrong, I love intercourse...I just wonder what it would be like.

Day 5 - A Tie and Tease

I like to plan things out, think about them and create a good scene for D.Love to enjoy. While he was in the bathroom, I snuck into the closet and pulled out some rope. When he came back into the bedroom he knew what he was in for!

I did a simple bind around his legs and then totally teased him. I started with touch all over, and then moved into lick and kisses. I just wanted to tease him, so this wasn't a very long session, more like a mid-afternoon quickie, maybe 5-10 minutes. I teased him a little with my mouth and tongue...got him right where I wanted him...and then untied him and announced he was free to go about his day! He LOVED it!

Some guys would get all frustrated with this Tie and Tease, but for D. Love it was perfect. *Note: D.Love and I have played previously with restraint and we already have safe words and other understandings in place, so we didn't need that conversation for this instance.

Day 6 - Great Cunnilingus!

D.Love wanted to treat me to some great Cunnilingus. I think he likes the end of the bed positions because he put me there again.

This time he kept all of this clothes on as he went down on me. It wasn't long before I had an awesome clitoral orgasm as a result of his hand and mouth combinations.

Day 7 - Parenthood and the 90 Day Oral Challenge

I had made a plan earlier in the day to have a wonderful extensive oral sex and intercourse session with D.Love. See...I'm doing research for my next book on the topic of BDSM and I had spent the entire afternoon with a professional Dominatrix. I wanted to extend the session to where I went into a deep erotic trance....and I had a lot come up for me (I'll write a lot more about this in my next book).

However, our son wouldn't go to bed. He was up until almost midnight and he had a cold so he had stayed home from school and in bed most of the day. I just couldn't get him to go to sleep. So I was in a very bad mood by the time I got to bed. I just wanted time to talk, to share with D.Love my afternoon and to sup up a great session with him for that night. But it was soooo late by then and we were both terribly exhausted (D.Love frequently gets up at 4 or 5AM to start his work day and I am usually up at 6AM with our son). My bad mood was permeating the air. I love my son, but sometimes I don't like being a parent!

At any rate, I simply asked D.Love what he would like. I think he hates this question since he never answers it. He’s all wishy washy and just says, "Let’s see what unfolds". I was upset because my plan fell apart and at this point we really didn’t have time to sink into much conversation about our days.  I felt like I needed a check-in, but at the same time wanted to get on with the oral for the day so that we could go to sleep. I kept pushing D.Love to tell me what he wanted.

Finally he told me (in a rather crass way, which I liked) that he wanted me to go down on him while stimulating his anus. Then he wanted to have intercourse. Perfect! I could do that and it is one of my favorite combinations to perform. I did some Teasing the Rosebud, Pulsing the Rosebud and Spiders on him. I didn’t do a lot of sucking or engulfing just a lot of licking at his Frenulum. This was a magic combination and sent him over the edge in about 10 minutes (we never got to the intercourse).  I practiced a little White Tigress meditation during this time. Doing this changed my state completely and we both floated off to sleep feeling happy, connected and content.

Day 8 - No Ejaculation Necessary

I really do enjoy giving fellatio. I talk in the book about women having orgasms from giving. It is a super awesome turn on for me. I wanted to mix it up a little, and since I get so many sex toys to try out I thought I’d incorporate the Fun Factory Lovering 8ight. D.Love placed the ring around his penis and I began stimulating him. He got super aroused and we decided to have intercourse with the ring on because it has a special clitoris stimulator, but we forgot and used the silcone lube. Since the Lovering is a silicon toy, it is not compatible with Silicone lubricant, so we had to take it off and wipe it off before moving into intercourse.

We had a great session. Lots of pleasure and I had a fabulous orgasm. D.Love decided that he didn’t want to have an ejaculation every time we engage. So I leave the choice up to him in most instances.  This was one where he decided he didn’t want to have an ejaculation, but wanted me to have an orgasm. No arguments here!

Day 9 - Stimulating Him Through His Underwear

D.Love was feeling like he needed to escape, so I watched our son for the evening and entertained guests. He went downstairs to the bedroom to read a book. I knew he’d fall asleep in a wink (he has mild narcolepsy).

It was about 10PM when I came into the bedroom and he was crashed out with a book on his chest and all of his clothes I. I brushed my teeth and then snuck over to him on the bed. I started touching him through his clothes, undid his belt buckle and his pants and used my mouth on him through his clothing. I opened his pants and then stimulated him through is underwear.

I slowly peeled back his underwear so that just the head of his penis was sticking out. I went to town teasing and licking and sucking just the head. His shaft I stimulated through his underwear. By now he was pretty awake and fairly aroused. I smiled at him as I put his penis back in his underwear, stimulated his through then, then I slowly buttoned up his pants while using my hands and mouth, finally his belt.  I then slowly stimulated him through his pants.

I smiled at him mischievously and said that was a little tease, hope that’s okay. He said, "I love it. I love the tease".  Then he fell back asleep.


Day 10 - Do I Taste Like Strawberries?

I’d had a very LONG workday. It was a good day but my brain was in work mode. Being a sexologist, it makes it hard to sometimes differentiate my love life from work. I will sit in my head analyzing a technique, thinking about how I might write about my experience, or how something I am experiencing might help someone else.

This particular night I was really in this mode and mostly in my head. D.Love wanted to give me cunnilingus, so I thought it was a perfect opportunity to have him try out a product called Masque. Masque is a little flavor strip that you let dissolve on your tongue that makes you taste like fruit or chocolate when your lover goes down on you. In this instance D.Love was trying strawberry. As he was licking my clit I just kept wondering if I tasted like strawberries and how the product was working for him. I kept asking him questions instead of enjoying my experience.

Day 11 - Healing Pleasure in the Bathtub!


I think I’m coming down with something nasty. I feel like I have a cold coming on, so I took a nice long bath before bed. D.Love treated me since I wasn’t feeling well and he gave my breasts some oral attention.  

He did a lot of great licking and kissing all over my body. First he nibbled my feet and kissed them. He licked my clitoris then went back to my body and breasts. This really helped me to relax before we both drifted off to sleep.

Day 12 - Can You Catch a Cold From Going Down?

D.Love is afraid to catch my cold and he asked me if I thought you could catch a cold from giving oral. I have to do some research on this. My throat is on fire and I feel awful so giving to him seemed out of the question.

We decided that it was safest to explore some body kissing. He basically worshipped my upper body with his mouth and tongue. He kissed down my arms to the inside of my elbow, a place where I can have orgasms if done right. He kissed to my breasts, played with his mouth on my nipples, then went across to my other arm.

This was perfect for a night when I was feeling icky and he wasn’t sure about catching a cold from me when going down.

Day 13 - Fun with The Sqweel and Aloe Cadabra!

Yuck! I’m officially sick. Not sure if I have the flu or some other bug. I’m really proud of D.Love and I for sticking with our commitment to make it to 90 days regardless of being sick. D.Love wasn’t feeling so great either, and the verdict is still out on whether or not he can catch a cold from going down – so we opted on using an oral sex toy called the Sqweel.  The Sqweel is like a rotating wheel with a whlole bunch of tongues on it. Just wait, this is hilarious story...

It starts with me looking for the Sqweel. It’s not in my dresser filled with sex toys that I have to review (yes, I have an entire dresser devoted to toys yet to be reviewed). It’s not in our sex den (yes, I have a den devoted to all my sex toys, furniture etc).  It’s not in my office. Yet, I am determined to find the thing.  I look again and again. 30 minutes later I find it in our sex den buried under a bunch of costume stuff from a lingerie shoot I did.

We open up the package and discover we need batteries. D.Love goes off hunting for batteries. It gets funnier. He can’t find any batteries in the size that we need. We steal some from somewhere else in the house. D.Love puts the batteries in and swears they must be worn out or that the Sqweel is broken.  “Give it to me", I say, "you are an old man who can’t see. I bet you put them in wrong!” I’m joking with him, but it turns out that he couldn’t see how to put them in right and he had it all wrong. I get the batteries in correctly and the Sqweel works just fine.

I am not giving up on this idea! We go over the directions for use. We grab some Aloe Cadabra lubricant (LOVE this stuff!) and we go for it! First I receive. D.Love uses a little too much pressure and we have to really communicate to get the right feeling. I discover that I like the forward motion better than the backwards motion...better than the back and forth. It is a strange sensation for me. The tongue wheel is going to town. It’s a bit more like a vibrator than I expected. I decide to turn the tables and give to D.Love. He actually really likes it and is having little shivers and twitches as I use it on his Frenulum and perineum. Looks likes another sex toy D.Love is going to steal away from me!

This was a fun experience and I look forward to trying the Sqweel on my own.
Lesson here: Let it be FUN! And Funny!  Sex doesn’t have to be so serious.

Day 14 - Just Enough Oral to Make Him Want More

After putting our son to bed I found D.Love snoring in bed. I’m feeling a little better so I decided it was a good night to surprise him.

I came into the bed and started kissing, licking and biting his neck.  Then I moved below. I kept all of his clothing on, but undid his belt and opened his pants, then pulled his penis out of his boxers, so he was still fully dressed.

I know that D.Love loves this. Then I practiced the some these techniques from my book: Practice Makes Perfect and Fantastic Frenulum.

I gave him just enough oral for 10 minutes to make him want more and then gently put his penis back into his boxers, zipped up his pants, put his belt back on and turned off the light. For some guys this would drive them crazy. For D.Love, he loves the tease more than anything, so he was completely happy.

Day 15 - The Flat of the Tongue Felt Better Tonight


I’m still under the weather. It’s very unlike me to get sick. I’ve got this horrid cough. Tonight D.Love gave some simple cunnilingus to me. It was hard for me to focus on pleasure as I was just trying my hardest not to cough the entire time. I discovered that if my cold is virus, it is highly unlikely he would get it from going down on me. My symptoms seem to live in my respiratory and digestive track, so kissing and anilingus are off the table until I am better.

D.Love decided not to do any penetration with his fingers. He used the tip of his tongue on my clitoris and it was too intense.  It must be that I am about to start my menstrual cycle and that is causing some extra sensitivity, as my progesterone is dropping. D.Love switched to the flat of his tongue and that felt much better. It was all an experiment as part of our 90 Days. I sure wish that this flu or cold or whatever I have would go away so that I can really have fun with this challenge.

Day 16 - We are Dedicated...Even Through Sickness!

Man oh man! I am really sick. Really, really sick. Poor D.Love...he’s stuck giving until I get better.

He’s so sweet. He gave me a great massage since all the coughing hurts and this flu has me aching all over. He said “I just think you need some nurturing touch." And that’s what he did, combined with his tongue, all over my body. We are dedicated.

He asked if I wanted a pass. No way! I am determined to make it through this challenge...and so far I’m feeling really positive and successful, even with my sickness.

Day 17 - Ahhh....Necking With Some Petting

I ended up taking a pass yesterday. Yes, I’m determined but last night I was so sick I was weeping and could barely hold my head up. Just someone talking to me seemed to hurt. But tonight, despite still feeling awful, I actually feel like making love. I feel so in love with my partner D.Love.  He’s been so great with me being sick. He’s looking super hot these days too.

At any rate, he didn’t think I was up for intercourse so instead he gave me a neck and back massage with kissing while he touched my genitals. I love having my back kissed. It makes me feel like the person I am with really loves and cares for me. I kept making requests for how I wanted my neck kissed, but D.Love wasn’t quite getting there.  It turned out he was just uncomfortable and all it took was me scooting down on the bed a little so that he had better access to my neck.

Ahhh....necking with some petting, so great even when you’re in a long term relationship.

Day 18 - I am Feeling So Connected to Him

Will this flu ever go away? D.Love is giving again tonight. One thing I love about sex...it can clear up your stuffy nose. Ah, but it only lasts for a moment and then back to being stuffy.

D.Love gave me some great cunnilingus. He did a lot of licking my clit combined with U-Spot and G-Spot stimulation.

Have I said lately how much I love this man? I am feeling so connected to him after just 18 days on this challenge. We are succeeding and it’s great!

Day 19 - Open Mouthed Kisses with a Little Suction

I am still sick, but I didn’t care. I wanted to go down on him after all these days. I love giving oral pleasure. It’s one of my great pleasures.

Tonight I gave his penis lots of long licks. I kissed his penis, which he gave me feedback on. Instead of puckered kisses he wanted open-mouthed kisses with a little suction. I added some scratching to his inner thighs, head and belly. He showed me an area on his lower abdomen where he likes to be touched and scratched. I never knew this about him before.

It’s so exciting to me to discover something new about someone I have been making love to for so many years.

Day 20 - Master/Slave in the Shower


Took another pass last night. I was crying because I’m still so sick and I had a big work day today. D.Love stayed up all night to help me. He’s amazing. I love him. I need to do something really special for him when I am better. After my long work day today our son was still out of the house so I grabbed D.Love and we jumped into the shower together.

My energy was the best it had been in a week so we played a little game I call Master/Slave. First I was the master and he was going down on me as I stood over him instructing him on what I wanted. Then we switched roles and I was his love slave, kneeling in the tub as the water beat down on us. He was really, really into this! Then we hopped out of the shower and had intercourse for the first time in weeks. Oh, it was so marvelous to connect like this. Of course afterwards I was spent and grateful that D.Love took our son for the night so that I could rest.

Day 21 - It Was Very Much Like a Sex Lab

I’ve written this awesome book on Oral Sex, Blow Each Other Away. I’m so proud of this book. So today I grabbed my book and started to perform fellatio techniques on him. We did Penis Worship (pg 132) all the way to Give His Penis A Break. It was very much like a sex lab instead of just a pleasure session. I’d do a technique from the book and then ask his feedback on what would be make it better for him. Some of the techniques he liked better than others and some become better when he asked for a little variation here and there. Fun With His Frenulum and Slap-n-Slide seem to be winners, while he isn’t much into pressure on shaft like in A Taste of Shiatsu.

If you are embarking on the 90 Day Challenge with your lover, I encourage you to try the techniques from the book and ask for feedback from your partner. If they say that they don’t particularly like a technique, ask them what would make it better. I know I am a total sex geek when doing this kind of thing turns me on so much. I love learning about my lover and how to help him achieve high, high states of ecstatic pleasure.

Day 22 - Neither One of Us Was Really Feeling It

Since yesterday’s Fellatio Sex Lab went so well we decided to switch rolls. D.Love grabbed my book and started in on a variety of cunnilingus techniques involving my clitoris. We moved into intercourse, but neither one of us was really feeling it, so we stopped and went back to the cunnilingus, which felt really good.

Neither one of us had an orgasm, but we were both completely okay with it. For some reason I’d almost get there and then it would slip away.

It’s interesting that we both were on the same page with not really feeling into the intercourse and also feeling like our sexual sensation was lower than normal. Weird.

Day 23 - Not Taking Lack of Erection or Orgasm Personally

I’ve decided that D.Love is a complicated man. I am okay with that. It’s just humorous to me that he is sexually complicated. There is a myth out there that men are easy. D.Love definitely breaks that myth.  Men are not so easy. I talk about this in the book, maybe D.Love inspired me. At any rate I gave him fellatio tonight and he was all in his head this time.

He’s been really stressed lately and I think that that was adding to his complication. I’m glad I’m not easily frustrated and that I can help him uncover pleasure and move through challenges. I also don’t things personally. Too many women see a man’s lack of erection or orgasm as a reflection on their attractiveness or desirability. I just know that sometimes sex is complicated, so lets all just relax, have fun and laugh it off.

Day 24 - Focus on 3 Techniques From Book


I returned to techniques in the book tonight. I wanted to give to D.Love again. I focused specifically on 3 techniques: Licking and Sucking the Dragon Head, Fun with His Frenulum, and circling my tongue around the head of his penis. I just kept repeating these to his liking.

Day 25 - He Was Self-Conscious About Hair Grooming

I’m making up for all my sick days by giving a lot. I also am enjoying going through the different techniques in the my book and getting feedback from D.Love.

Tonight we did a sex lab that included Hold Hands and Smell All The Way to His Delight. D.Love gave me feedback and I made adjustments to make each one better for him. It was awesome.

I wanted to keep going, but he didn’t want to do the Testicle Techniques. He was self-conscious about hair grooming (See, he’s a bit complicated in some ways in that he wants to be all perfect for me. Not that I’m complaining. I love that he’s concerned about too much hair down there and my pleasure). So we’ll wait for another day to do all of the Testicle Techniques.

Day 26 - The Pleasure Kept Building Until I Leapt Over Into a Big Clitoral Orgasm

D.Love was in a funny mood. He wanted to give. Our bedroom was cold, which is a big peeve of mine. I like to have a warm room to make love in. So D.Love wrapped me up in the blanket and acted like he was giving me cunnilingus, a technique that he named The Hot Dog. Then he lifted the covers and went underneath and started doing some funny motion that he called The Cleaner.

I LOVE humor in the bedroom. D.Love started with some of the cunnilingus techniques from my book, Blow Each Other Away: Loving Labia, Holding Hands, In The Groove, Stretch and Tour, Clit Rolling, Humming, and Crazy Clit. He also gave me some thigh scratching since he liked that so much from when I was giving him fellatio. I liked it too. Then he started inventing his own techniques, which I always love. I admire creativity in the bedroom too. He pushed my legs together and then started licking my clit, then humming on my clit.  Meanwhile he was giving me G-Spot and I-Spot stimulation with his hands. The pleasure kept building until I leapt over into a big clitoral orgasm.

Day 27 - It Was a Fellatio Day Today!


It was a fellatio day today! I decided that before I go down on D.Love, I want to know if he wants to have an ejaculation or not. This way I know if it’s a tease session, a sex lab, or a pure pleasure session.  He stated that he didn’t want to ejaculate, he wanted the tease.

So I decided that my goal would be to get him to the point where he wanted to change his mind and ejaculate, but I’d still hold him to his desire not to. I achieved that very thing through giving a combination oral techniques with some of my favorite genital massage techniques. He got to that point where he was really aroused and close to ejaculation. I stopped right there. He loved it!

Day 28 - All Groomed For Sex Lab on Testicle Play

D.Love came home from work just to have oral sex with me. Ah, I felt so honored. We showered together and then D. Love groomed so that we could do a sex lab on testicle play. We did the techniques from Blow Each Other Away that included both oral on the testicles and anal touch.

Today he wanted to have an ejaculation. I think that after last night’s teasing he was ready for an orgasm with ejaculation. I went to my fool proof technique that I know really works on him. I provide licks to his Frenulum while I stroke his shaft up and down with my hand, while my other hand teases his external anal sphincter. Within no time he was over the edge! And then we were both back to work!

Day 29 - I Wanted Penetration Really Bad!

It was a rough night getting our son to go down to sleep. D.Love finally got him settled and sleeping. He crawled into bed and exclaimed that he wanted to give me some oral love. I was very happy to hear this, all the giving has had me really turned on and I’m finding D.Love super sexy these days. Perhaps it’s all the oral connecting we are doing. Perhaps it’s the 5 pounds he’s lost over the challenge. Maybe all this oral causes weight loss too!

At any rate, the room felt cold again, so I got all cozy under the covers and D.Love crawled in. The oral felt especially good tonight as I was really into it. I must be ovulating! I wanted penetration really bad. I wanted intercourse. So I made a request for it, and D.Love obliged. It was awesome...really awesome! We both had an amazing time sharing this connection and it felt highly pleasurable. What a great way to fall asleep at night.

Day 30 - Feeling Yummy to Just Let My Body Melt Into His


Super sleepy and relaxed tonight. Different from exhaustion, just very relaxed. This time I fell asleep as D.Love was reading stories to our son. I woke up and then woke up D.Love so that we could head to our bedroom. 

I wanted to give tonight, so I checked in with D.Love. He said he just wanted some love, some nurturing and that he didn’t want to ejaculate. Sounded good to me. So I wrapped my body around him with my legs wrapped around his, and my head on his belly. It felt yummy to just let my body melt into his. I did a lot of massage on his inner thighs, his belly and his low back. I did Fun With His Frenulum alternated with simply sucks to the head of his penis. 

We were both so, so relaxed.  I thought for sure that I would just drift off to sleep, but this weird monkey mind started going crazy worrying about everything. I ended up staying awake until 4AM working. Sometimes my be inspirations come in the middle of the night so I just went with it.

Day 31 - Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible


There are some things that are off limits, meaning I’m not allowed to talk about them in my blogs. D.Love wants to keep some of his sex life a mystery. So you will just have to be in the mystery when it comes to part of this. Let’s just say that D.Love gets super, super aroused by his creative mysteries!

We started by taking a shower together. He gave cunnilingus to me and then flipped me over onto a stack of angled pillows (I think he’s been reading my other book, Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible).

OMG! The intercourse felt AMAZING! I was so happy that he was playing with angling my pelvis. We had intercourse for a little while, then he went down on me for awhile. Then we went back into intercourse. Then I gave him some genital massage to conclude the session.

It was a lovely extended session, which we don’t always get the luxury of having. We were so happy to have had the time together and to feel high states of pleasure and orgasm.

Day 32 - Why Don't I Speak Up?


It’s almost midnight. D.Love suggested a quickie tonight. He’s working on his new embodied movement class and wanted to go work on it. After last night’s session I was completely open to a quickie. He was giving. His tongue felt good, but his hands were really dry and felt pokey and like his fingernails were scratchy.

I didn’t speak up. I always wonder why I do that? Why don’t I say something? It’s like I’m waiting for things to change or for him to read my mind. So I finally gave him the feedback that his fingers where pokey and dry. I needed to remind him…wet fingers on the wet parts of my vulva. And his hands have been especially dry the last few days, so some Love Butter or Coconut Oil might be nice. Or he could always use some of the Aloe Cadabra we keep by the bed.

Day 33 - He Liked the Penis Straight Up Position The Best

Once again our son just wouldn’t go to sleep. We’ve been reading these books that he is so into that he just wants us to read and read and read. D.Love was all edgy and stressed. He was in a mood, so he suggested another quickie session where I give.

I decided to help him shift his mood with a little oral fun and to also learn some things about him. I played with penis positions. I did the same two techniques with his penis on his belly, his penis held straight up, and his penis pointing down towards his feet. He liked pointed down least of all, mostly due to the fact that he has a curvature (awesome for intercourse, but not so awesome for this position). He liked the straight up position the best, so I played there for a little bit before we drifted off to sleep.

Day 34 - It Was Like D.Love Had Fire in His Saliva!

“Are you bored yet,” I asked D.Love. I wanted to know if he was finding our oral sex boring at this point in the exploration. “No, I just want you at 100%” he replied. Yes, that flu is still hanging on. That means no kissing and my energy is low, and I am still coughing and stuffy. So we haven’t really had the chance to go crazy with experimentation. I’m okay with that for now, but I would like a good run of really experimental sessions.

D.Love wanted to go down on me. He pushed my legs together and started licking up the center.  Usually this would drive me crazy, but I was all in my head working again. I started to focus on the sensation. After awhile, my thighs started itching and burning. It was D.Loves beard scratching me. So I opened my legs to avoid the scratching.  Then my butt cheeks got all itchy, then everything in my pelvic floor started itching. It was like D.Love had fire ants in his saliva. WTF? It was so bad I had to get up and wipe off. We laughed and tried to get to the bottom of it.  Had he eaten something weird?  Or drank something weird?  Was my skin just overly sensitive? The whole thing was so strange.

Day 35 - Certain Times of Month I Crave Penetration Over Clitoral Stimulation

D.Love dances on Tuesday nights. He get’s all sexy at dance and I LOVE it when he brings this sexy home to me. Sometimes being apart is the best aphrodisiac. While he was away at dance I got our son to go to sleep early, so I worked on building him a website for his dance classes that he is starting to teach! I am so proud of him, another thing to boost libido.

See, he’s been talking about doing these dance classes since I met him. And well, I was getting frustrated hearing about how much he wanted to do this, but then complaining that he didn’t have the time to make it happen. I’m the kind of person who has a dream, and well, I just go for it, regardless of what I may perceive are my limitations.  D.Love finally is doing it! And that is attractive.

When he came home from dance I showed him the site and he loved it! So much he wanted to give me an awesome orgasm. I was really, really in the mood for penetration.  I notice that during certain times of the month I crave penetration over clitoral stimulation. The sensations built and built until I had this awesome combined Clitoral and G-Spot orgasm!  YUM!  I think the emotional connection and libido boost really helped make tonight great!

Day 36 - Is 69 Out of Fashion?

Today I was on Playboy Radio with Tiffany Granath, talking about the 90 Day Challenge and my new book, Blow Each Other Away. The question came up “Is 69 out of fashion"? First of all, how can a sexual technique go out of fashion? I guess it’s possible.

I came home and asked D.Love what he thought. He admitted that he wasn’t a fan of 69. I don’t know...for me it’s nice to do a variety of things.  69 can help me to associate pleasure with giving and wire me for having mouth orgasms. However, it is nice to be able to just focus on giving or focus on receiving.

Tonight we experimented. First he was on top. I like him on top. It makes me feel less self-conscious. Then I was on top. We provided each other with feedback, making this session feel much more like a sex lab than a lovemaking session. However, after checking about the 69 experiment and D.Love sharing with me that it’s not really his cup of tea, we had some amazing intercourse.